Home > Uncategorized > Ranking Jason: Happy Friday the 13th!

Ranking Jason: Happy Friday the 13th!

Happy Friday the 13th!  I know this relatively inane holiday occurs about twice a year, but being a fan of movies, and horror in general, it means something more to me.  As a child of the 80’s, I grew up on the adventures of Mr. Jason Voorhees.  My introduction, I believe, came from bits of Part IV, followed by the entirety of Part V and Part VI.  Since then, I’ve seen and had a strange affinity for the slasher films of my youth.  I’ll never shake them, much like Sylvester Stallone, Tom Hanks, and Michael J Fox flicks.  They’re quite simply a part of my upbringing, for better or worse.

So, to commemorate the holiday, I’ll rank the films:

1. Friday the 13th

The original of any series is almost always the best, and the reason why there’s sequels.  This one is no different.  Plus it had Kevin Bacon and only a child version of Jason.

2. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

Some great, ridiculous kills, a Frankenstein-like resurrection, and the best ending of all the films.  The Tommy character was the best character to face Jason in the entire series.  I can watch the ending just by itself and be happy.

3.  Friday the 13th Part II

The burlap sack!  The ending here is also pretty great, with Jason’s mother’s severed head featured prominently.

4.  Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter

Corey Effing Feldman.  It’s pretty great on all fronts, and could have seriously served as the ending of the series.  I’m happy it didn’t, but I kinda wish it did since this would have ended it pretty well.

5.  Friday the 13th Part VIIThe New Blood

Includes the series’ best kill (sleeping bag!), and a battle for the ages: Jason vs a telekinetic girl.  Has a Carrie-esque slant.  Also features Bernie from Weekend at Bernie’s (he ends up the same way in this film as he spends that entire film).  Plus,  this is Kane Hodder’s first turn as the unkillable killer.

6.  Friday the 13th Part III

Gets points for being the film where Jason first dons the iconic hockey mask, then loses major points for being presented in amazingly in-your-face, awful 3-D.  Has a pretty cool ending though.

7.  Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhatten

Jason tails a yacht full of horny teenagers, winds up in Times Square,  punches a guys head off, then gets liquidated by sewer acid or some crap and turns into a crying baby in the end. Huh??

8.  Jason x

I don’t have any real endorsements for this, except to say it’s moderately fun if you’re a fan of the series, especially for the hologram flashback and Uber-Jason.

9.  Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

Features a character who isn’t Tommy from the previous film, or the following film, and a killer who isn’t Jason in the ENTIRE SERIES.  The biggest cop-out I’ve ever seen, and it still pisses me off.  Moving on.

10.  Jason Goes to Hell

I won’t even dignify this entry with any positives. Utter trash.  Bring on Creighton Duke!

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Alex Withrow
    August 22, 2012 at 9:36 am

    Ok, tried to post a comment yesterday… let’s go for take 2.

    I just said that this was a bitchin’ list. The Jason flicks are so badass, it’d be really hard for me to rank them. Props for calling the sleeping bag kill the best offing in the series.

    Jason Takes Manhattan will always hold a place in my heart. If I told you how many times I watched that as a kid…

    I agree that Jason Goes to Hell blows, but that coroner eating his heart is kind of remarkable.

  2. August 22, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    Dude, much love for coming back to post. It’s very greatly appreciated.

    Jason Takes Manhattan was probably the one I watched the most as a kid as well, simply because it came out when I was closer to an age where I could handle multiple viewings of that stuff. Plus it had that scene where the girl seduces the teacher in her room. Ah adolescence.

    The heart eating scene is quite a moment, and would be in any movie. That flick is just such a weird deal, New Line acquired the rights and decided to make their first Friday the 13th movie almost completely devoid of it’s larger-than-life anti-hero. Seems like over-exposing would have been the bigger issue, but they went the other way. Odd.

    Anyways, thanks for reading, man! Maybe one day you’ll rank them and write a post about it too, it’s always fun to see which flick is a favorite to other people. There’s definitely no right or wrong preferences in this series.

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